Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Indiana Jones and Kindom of the Cystal Dull

After a twenty year hiatus, Indiana Jones is back...and he stinks. The action is non-stop which was part of the problem. The movie should have relyed more on sovling riddles and interesting events from actual history. Sure, the mayans are just as cool as the next tribe, but I guess I don't know enough about them to get really wrapped up in the story.

Close calls and cheep thrills seem to be the newest form of Hollywood action. Peter Jackson's King Kong, Transformers, and the Spiderman franchise have made it their cornerstone. The problem is, you would expect a little bit more out of Indy. The best part about a movie is the absurd punching sound. Personally, I have never punched somebody as hard as I can in the face, but I would imagine it doesn't sound like a grown man jumping on an unfolded tarp. Our gritty warrior doing battle with Holy Grail protectors on a speed boat seems almost believeable compared to what you will see in Crystal Skull.

No human on earth would be able to wiggle there way past towering waterfalls and an entire army shooting AKs from point blank range. I have seen Indiana Jones movies before and understand that the formula includes being able to dogde bullets, but the line must be drawn.

It's nice that George Lucus and Co. bring back Marion from the first Indy flick, Raiders of the Lost Ark, but she contributes practically nothing. Shia LaBeouf (the kid from Transformers) is making a name for himself as a young action star with quazi comedic timing. You can hear the age in Harrison Ford's voice but I thought he looked alright. What made other Indy movies great was the pimp factor. The guy was always getting hot chicks no matter what jungle he was in. I found myself wanting to hear that classic banter more and more but was left with corny jokes and bad one-liners.

Overall, I would say the movie is entertaining enough to sit through. When all is said and done, it's still Indiana Jones...the badass history teacher I grew up wanting to be. As for the future; lets hope that Indy has hung up his whip for a final time. Let Nicholas Cage discover history from here on out. I give this movie 2.5 out of 5 shines.

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