Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Shark Week '08

I can't think of anything more entertaining than a bunch of dudes jumping in shark infested waters searching for new ways to get eaten at sea. "Let's see what happens when I paddle out into the South Pacific..." "Check me out....I'm a baby seal." Classic.

If only Shark Week were every week. Shark Month....That's what we need.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHnS8_0da6A

This is a clip from Planet Earth. HD Sharks flying right out your screen. Enjoy.

Bob + Doda = Bob Doda by Bob Doda

When I was expected to do math in middle school, high school, and a small part of college, I was an Absolute Zero (worst math joke of all time but I'm leaving it). Recollecting on all the hours I put in trying to find the sum of X never helped me in my numerous ventures outside of school. What the hell is a cosign? How do you use a graphing calculator? While all of my buddies seemed to excel at Math, my junior and senior year of High School was broken down into 3a and 3b. I'm sure the A stood for something other than asshole but who knows. Maybe it did stand for asshole. Either way, I was stuck in idiot math whether I liked it or not.

The reason I'm thinking about this now is because my GRE exam is on Thursday. The math is not that hard; it's actually 8-10th grade stuff. I consider myself to be a wordsmith of sorts. I know how to use words and phrases; how to edit and proofread. But I'm a little nervous about the vocab in my near future. I have been taking practice exams and reading The Complete Idiot's Guide to Acing the GRE which is helpful, but still... when am I going to use:

-vituperate
-turpitude
-scabbard
-parsimonious
-inchoate

in a sentence. It's really the same principle when it comes to math. When was the last time you were walking down the street and had to use the Pythagorean theorem? Thanks for letting me vent...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Atlantic City: The Wallet and Soul Swallowing Capital of the World

Have you ever been to the Beach Bar in Atlantic City? I have. Actually, two guys that looked like they were out of the show Pacific Blue asked me to leave. As a cordial individual, I stood up from my seat, walked out of the establishment without the comfort of my wallet or my friends. How was I supposed to know your not allowed to go on the stage and make an announcement? It seemed like a great idea at the time....

Little did I know that friends Gannon Gambeski and Jonathan Lesch and Company were getting strangers to scream "BBBBBBBoBBBBBBBBBB!" on the boardwalk. We were separated but I hope they know I appreciate the sentiment. It's important to be alone sometimes in strange places. It's like exercise for your interpersonal and problem solving skills. Nobody deals with strangers better than Bob Doda.

All in all, it was a good weekend. Lots of friends and drinks; sand and surf; dancing and falling off banisters. I wouldn't change a thing.

The ride home on the other hand was a pure endurance challenge. My brain was in a fog; throbbing and yearning for a few more zzzzz's. Not even the fresh eggs and sausage could solve the problem I had. Two hours of traffic at the George Washington Bridge did not help. Finally back in Smithtown, our trip still did not come to an end. My friends and I decided to find a Pizza Hut with a red top, red cups and circular ice cubes. My GPS brought me to Brentwood (or as I like to call it Crimewood) first but it was red-topless. Off to Centereach. One Cesar's salad and a slice of stuffed crust pizza later, I felt like I was going to die right there in the booth.

Surprisingly, I didn't.

My bed was screaming my name, "BBBBBBBBBBBBoBBBBBBBBBBB...."
I obliged and slept for 32 hours.

In closing, there are 3 things to consider:
1) I am a fabulous poker player and paid for the whole trip in 54 minutes at a table.
2) Random dance parties with hot chicks can lead to intense bruising.
3) Never leave your wallet in a cab in Atlantic City with a guy named Sunil

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My Online Discovery

Keep your eyes on the words and your fingers on home row...

http://www.typeonline.co.uk/typingspeed.php

I might be solidifying my legacy as a world class dweeb but knowing how many words you type per minute is an interesting stat. Try it out.

As of right now, my record is 60 words per minute with 2 mistakes.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Bobby Murcer 1946-2008

Bobby Murcer, one of the voices of the New York Yankees, died today after a battle with brain cancer. He wasn't the greatest yankee, nor a hall of famer, but he was loved amongst the fans and the franchise as a whole. The YES network just learned of this news after the Yankees win today against Toronto and is playing old footage of Murcer as well as player reactions. This should make the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium next week even more special. RIP Bobby Murcer.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Resurrection of Phish?

Recent comments in Rolling Stone by Trey Anastasio and Mike Gordon have led many bloggers and fans to believe that one of the most successful touring acts in the country, Phish, might be ready to take to the stage again. In this digital age, the rumors came full circle incredibly fast prompting Page McConnell to post this statement on the bands website:

Given the volume of speculation and rumors that have bubbled up recently, I have been asked to make a statement…Here goes. For me, the last four years have been great. I’ve spent quality time with my family and have watched my daughter grow. I took great pleasure and pride in writing and recording an album. I’m living a healthy lifestyle. I travel as little as possible and I sleep in my own bed. It took a couple of years after the break up to begin talking to my old band mates, but once the conversations began to flow it wasn’t long before the friendships were rekindled. And I can honestly say that I’m closer with all of them now then I’ve ever been in our 20-year relationship. Recently the conversations have turned toward the possibility of spending some time together. Currently many of us have plans and projects already in the works, most notably Mike, who made a great album and is about to hit the road in support of it. Given that I might not even see some of the guys for the next six months, I would say that the announcement of a reunion is premature. However, later this year we hope to spend some time together and take a look at what possible futures we might enjoy. In fact the only real decision that has been made is that when we do get together, it will only be the four of us, hopefully with no distractions. I am really looking forward to that.I want to say just a few more things. The prospect of Phish reuniting is something I consider very seriously, and I think about it a lot. And lastly, as always, there is plenty of misinformation floating around. Try not to focus too much on secondhand sources and random gossip. If there is anything real to announce, it will come from the four of us as a group.

Until then,
Page


What can we gather from this letter?

1. Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
2. Page obviously wants Phish back. The band is closer then they ever have been? It has to be only a matter of time.
3. Page has been hanging out with his fam for the past few years eating soy and carrots.
4. He says that calling this a reunion is premature, but they plan on getting together later this year to evaluate things. It looks like patience is golden.

Trust me, I have no aspirations for jumping on tour and following a band around the country. If they come to The Garden or Nassau Coliseum you can bet your boots that I'll be there. Why?
1. Mere curiosity. Could they revive that groove after so many years?
2. Because they are my favorite band of all time and all of their shows are downloadable practically within hours of the performance.
3. Because Coventry, their last show/festival ever, sucked.

If you got through all of this, thank you. Most of my friends here in Smithtown HATE Phish. But to me, it would be a dream come true to hear those dudes once again.

Life Stats

I was driving to Matt's Pizza in St. James the other day. After hanging a left turn on to Lake Ave. I started to think, "I wonder how many times I have made this left turn in my career as a person?" This, of course, led me to think of other questions that I will never know the answer to.

-How many total words have I spoke?
-How many meals/pound of food have I consumed?
-How much total money have I earned/spent?
-How many yawns?
-How many sneezes?
-Overall beerpong percentage?
-Phone calls made/received?
-How much distance have I travelled by foot/car?
-How much time have I spent watching TV/movies/in the bathroom?
-Awake/Asleep ratio?
-How many total concerts/sporting events have I been to?
-Total number of friends made? Total number of enemies?
-Total number of insects killed?
-My overall Ice Hockey stats?

There must be 14,000 more questions you could ask about your life. The scary thing is that all of those questions have an answer. Feel free to enter your X or R rated "Life Stat" questions in the comments section.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

TONIGHT MENU

Tonight's topics:

Calculating Life Stats
The Resurrection of Phish?
In The Classroom with Bob Doda
Sean Avery to Dallas: What are the Rangers THINKING?????
Wall-E: Disney's Charlie Chaplin